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Monthly Archives: June 2007

going away

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Filed under General, Photo

I am retreating to an undisclosed location. Will return in 9-14 days.

if aliens were mentally defecient cokeheads

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Filed under General, weird

then these would be their crop circles:

A driver who was high on cocaine destroyed an entire cornfield in an attempt to escape from the police.

Four police cars were destroyed before the 35-year-old crashed into a ditch and was arrested, near the village of Dussen in the south of the Netherlands.

Toynbee Tile News and history 101

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Filed under General, TOYNBEE IDEA

In late 2001/early 2002 artist, musician and Toynbee tile lover Justin Duerr discovered the last original tile ever glued, just minutes after it was put to the street. He wrote to Toynbee.net:

I left my house on a mission to my lacal convinience (sic) store
for a late Sunday night snack (about 4:00 A.M.,so perhaps “early morning snack would be more appropriate wording.) On my way back to the house I noticed a black mound in the street which had made it’s appearance there sometime in the 10 minute period that I was in the store. Upon closer inspection I discovered it to be a mound of tar paper, intermingled with what appeared to be wood glue. Being the inquisitive soul that I am, I lifted the top layer to see what may lay underneath—-a “TOYNBEE IDEA” TILE!!!!!( This was discovered at 12th. & Race ST. in Philadelphia, if you want to add it to your sightings list.) Needless to say, I examined the tile for quite a while, my heart racing all the while, knowing that I had missed catching the “mad tiler” by only a matter of minutes.

In the next 48 hours, heavy rains washed the tile away. It never adhered to the asphalt. In the past 5 years, no old school tiles have appeared in Philadelphia or anywhere else.

BUT…

Starting in 2002 new-school tiles began appearing. They have a different font and orientation. Most of them are small and placed close to the curb. Nearly 200 of them have appeared in Philadelphia and surrounding highways since 2002. Only 1 has been reported outside of the Philadelphia area. Tile experts are split on whether these new tiles are the work of the original tiler or a copycat. But that’s not the point of this post.

Since early 2002 every single tile glued to a street in center city Philadelphia has been small, crude and aesthetically boring. But in the past week at least 3 old-school size mystery tiles have appeared.

These tiles are large and mysterious. Not yet exposed (still covered in layers of glue and tar paper) these tiles could be anything. No matter what lies beneath, the tiles are an exciting development in the Jupiter resurrection movement. Over the next few weeks, large, bright mosaics will again decorate center city Philadelphia streets. Keep your eyes on 15th/16th and Chestnut and 15th and Arch. In the meantime, here are some early photos from Chestnut Street:

I couldn’t keep myself from messing with this one:

slightly vaginal looking detail crop:

Giant Underwear

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Filed under General, Philly, weird

Earlier today I was hanging out in an abandoned train station. In one of the rooms I found these giant pair of underwear. For a sense of scale, my foot is a 10 1/2. I don’t know what kind of clothing was lying next to the underwear, but they appeared to be smeared with feces. Abandoned train stations are some crazy shit.

great! amazing! stupendous!

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Filed under General, TOYNBEE IDEA

I’ve never really given much thought about what I want done with my body once I’m done with it. I guess that I figured that I’d be cremated. It’s better for the environment, cheaper and generally more appealing in some way. No embalming, rotting or worms. I may have just changed my mind though. If I’m cremated, how can I have this on my gravestone?

The carver may be Weird PA (of the Weird NJ franchise of magazines and books) author Matt Lake. I’ve put an email to Mr. Lake to confirm this. I know he’s a tile fan and the flickr page with this image was tagged with his name. Whoever created it, good work man! The message lives.

Postscript: I’ve decided that I want the dead molecules of my body resurrected on the gigantic planet of Jupiter! That’s all for now.

Egg and Muffin

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Filed under General

After the crack whore thing I promised family friendly. What could be more famly friendly than Paula Deen selling total crap?

Click the white toaster:

http://www.eggandmuffintoaster.com/

best place to local crack whores in philadelphia

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Filed under General, Philly, satire

The title of this post is the most intriguing search result that led a wayward web surfer to this site sometime in the last 36 hours. Most of the time I wouldn’t touch my strange search results with a 10-foot pole. The same goes for this one, but this time I’ve decided to help in another way.

Why? In many ways this is a local site, devoted in large part to all things Philadelphian. To exclude crack whores would be wrong. They’re just part of the rich tapestry that makes up this great city.

And before you go thinking something nasty, please note that there’s a word missing in that search term. Maybe they wanted to know the best place to “help” crack whores in philadelphia. In fact the missing word(s) could be almost anything. It could be meet, photograph, buy dinner for, strangle or even fall deeply in love with.

And yes it could also be “fuck.”

But anyway, I knew someone who while nearing his low point slept with dozens of Philadelphia’s rock smoking prostitutes. Because he was at this low point, it was sort of acceptable in some twisted way and I don’t judge him for it. As a result however, I’ve been instilled with a certain knowledge that I wouldn’t otherwise have. That kid has some crazy stories.

So a note to that anonymous searcher.

Where have you looked? Unfortunately, these ladies are everywhere. (I’m saying “unfortunately” in a empathic liberal way and not in an unfeeling and hate filled conservative one) So searcher, try skulking around under the el tracks anywhere north of Berks station. Hang around at an A-Plus in a neighborhood with a lot of gun violence. Hey, maybe you’ll get ‘lucky’ and meet someone right in center city. (*note if a skinny woman incessantly licking her lips asks you if you need a date, there you go)

I hope this information helps at least 1 of my readers.

Oh, remember to bring enough cash for a bottle of Yuengling at an Old City bar. That should be more than enough to gitter done.

For tomorrow I promise something more family friendly. That’s all for now.

Mass Grave

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Filed under General, Philly

Washington Square has always been the somber, bizarro Rittenhouse. Last night the only people enjoying the place were weirdoes and lunatics. I’m not complaining, people screaming at ghosts in their heads are part of what make this city great, but I’ve always wondered why Washington Square wasn’t more like it’s fraternal twin up the street. I knew there were mass graves there, but not until I read up on a little of the history of the park did I realize how many bodies were in that park. Read up below.

On a side note, I’ve been kicking around the idea of having a barbecue over there on the 4th. Unfortunately I won’t be in town that day, but someone should do this. I mean, just bring a grill and some skewers and cook your meat up right on the eternal flame. What could possibly be more patriotic than that? I’m sure no one would mind. Happy Birthday USA!

From ushistory.org:

A History of the Square

Washington Square was one of Philadelphia’s five original squares as laid out in 1682 by William Penn’s surveyor, Thomas Holme. It was then called Southeast Square, as Quakers did not believe in naming places after people. Within 25 years of Penn’s arrival, however, the square was being used as a potter’s field and a burial yard for strangers in the city. it served in this capacity from 1704 to 1794, a period roughly (and curiously) paralleling the dates of Benjamin Franklin’s tenure on earth (1706-1790). Burials were generally done on the cheap: bodies bound in canvas — sans coffins.

For a cemetery, the Square was remarkably filled with life, however. Historian John Fanning Watson in his 1830 “Annals of Philadelphia” writes of two fish-filled creeks that flowed through the Square in the 1740s in addition to a pond that attracted wanton boys. “A creek once ran thru the Square and the aged Hayfield Conygnam, Esq., when he was young, caught a fish of six inches in length. Another aged person told me of his often walking up the brook, barefooted, in the water, and catching crayfish.” (Today the only water in the park is found in a fountain in the park’s center and in a horse watering trough when rainfall backs up.)

Rites similar to the Mexican “Day of the Dead” celebration were held in the park’s early years by the black community. Watson writes, “An aged lady, Mrs. H.S., had told me that she has often seen Guinea natives, in the days of her youth, going to the grave of their friends early in the morning, and there leaving them victuals and rum!”

In the years preceding the Revolutionary War, the Square was deemed a good pasture field — despite (or because of) nearly 60 years of burials! In 1766, Jasper Carpenter leased the field from the city toward that end. Erelong, Carpenter’s cows would have to make way for the corpses of American and British soldiers.

Beginning in 1776, fallen troops from Washington’s Army were buried in the Square. Pits 20 feet by 30 feet in length were dug along 7th and Walnut Streets which were then filled by coffins piled one atop another until space in the mass grave ran out. Long trenches the width of the Square were hastily dug on the Square’s south side — a permanent barracks for the martyrs of the War of Independence.

John Adams wrote a sad letter filled with lamentation to his wife Abigail on April 13, 1777. “I have spent an hour, this morning, in the congregation of the dead. I took a walk into the Potters Field, a burying ground…and I never in my whole life was affected with so much melancholy.”

When the British occupied Philadelphia in 1777, they used the Walnut Street Jail, which then faced the Square, to hold prisoners of war. Draconian conditions caused death in droves. This story is told on the next stop along the “virtual” tour, at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

More corpses followed in 1793. Those that spent their last days fighting off the chill haze of Yellow Fever, wound up in shrouds underneath the now pacific park.

After the Square was closed as a cemetery, the situation in the area did not initially improve. Historian Watson described the houses that surrounded the Square in 1805 being as “miserable and deformed a set of huts and sheds as could be well imagined.”

Improvement started in the form of a public walk in 1815. A tree-planting program began the next year and the Square to this day wears the fruit of a city plan in which over 60 varieties of trees were sown. A “really admirable city arboretum of rare trees,” was how America’s first landscape architect, Andrew Jackson Downing, described the Square. Walking on the Square 150 years after this beautification project, the historian John Francis Marion observed, “The trees in Washington Square are older, wider-spreading and taller than those in Independence Square, and the square itself has a more open spacious quality.”

The 6.4-acre Southeast Square was renamed Washington Square in 1825 to honor the great general and first President.

ridiculous

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Filed under General, promotion

A while back I posted some songs by King Solomon. His new video is out. Here it is:

June 8 + exposure

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Filed under General, Photo

I read this, this morning on Zoe Strauss’s blog, but think it needs as much exposure as it can get.

These 2 photos were taken by the same photographer – Nick Ut – exactly 35 years apart. Both show crying children. How far we’ve come now that we don’t allow cameras in our warzones.